If Harry Potter Titles Were True to the Films… (Part Two)

If you haven’t read part one, then read it HERE.
Because I wouldn’t want to spoiler one of the best known Western stories of my generation…

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

or

Harry Potter and the Inexplicability of Sirius’ Now-Perfect Teeth

Harry Potter and the Obvious Sign That Pink Isn’t For Girls; It’s For People Made Of Pure Evil… And Possibly Kittens

Harry Potter and the Blatant Foreshadowing That Harry Is A Horcrux 

Harry Potter and the Big Feelings None Of The Characters Are Equipped To Deal With

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

or

Harry Potter and the Time He Almost Killed The Hot Evil One With A Spell He Found In The Older Hot Evil One’s Old School Book

Harry Potter and the Zombies I Just Couldn’t Deal With And Had To Close My Eyes
(I have a very serious problem with zombies…)

Harry Potter and the OH FUCK FUCK FUCK HE’S IN THE WATER WITH THE ZOMBIES FUCK NO. NOPE. CAN’T DEAL.

Harry Potter and the Best Plot Twist Since Luke’s Father

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part One)

or

Harry Potter and the Two Hour Introduction To Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Harry Potter and the Bitchin-est Badass-est Hermione Granger … and Also There’s Ron

Harry Potter and the Slightly Uncomfortable Amount Of Chest Hair On A Supposedly Seventeen Year Old Boy

Harry Potter and the Cock-Blocking Continues

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part Two)

or

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Finally Kicks Off

Harry Potter and the Rest Of The Child Stars All Look Old As Balls

Harry Potter and the Unexplained Fact That Angry Irish Dumbledore’s Brother Is An Angry Northerner

Neville Longbottom and the Time He Became A Major Asset For The Order Of The Phoenix, Led A Revolution In The Absence Of The Chosen One, and Killed A Living Horcrux – All Whilst Holding Two Fingers Up At Puberty

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Here is a selfie (because this blog is The Selfie Revolution, after all) of when I arrived at work…

I got up early, made an effort with my clothes, hair and make-up for a change… and then it tipped it down with rain whilst I was walking.

Ce Sera.

Alice.

If Harry Potter Titles Were True to the Films… (Part One)

I have been marathoning (which I have just decided is now a verb) Harry Potter since yesterday evening. I am nearly at the graveyard in Goblet of Fire which basically means that I’m at the turning point where the whole franchise goes from child-friendly story about loveable rascals who can do magic and are pure enough of heart to defeat evil on a whim to politically-driven freedom fighters trying to survive long enough to bring down an oppressive regime (and we don’t talk about the incongruous epilogue).

tl;dr: Shit’s about to get real in the wizarding world.

I grew up on the Harry Potter stories, as so many people did, and they will always have a very special place in my heart, but that also does not stop some of the earlier films being hilarious to me now, so I have come up with some alternative film titles for the first half of the series…

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone

or

Harry Potter and the School that Safety Regulations Forgot

Harry Potter and the Grounds Keeper Who Can’t Keep His Mouth Shut

Harry Potter and the Female Friend With the Strong Eyebrow Game

Harry Potter and the Child Actor Who Can’t Blink With Both Eyes At the Same Time

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

or

Harry Potter and the Grounds Keeper Who Still Can’t Keep His Mouth Shut

Harry Potter and the Day Puberty Dropped His Voice For Him

Harry Potter and the Continuation of Neville’s Suffering Before He Beats Puberty

Harry Potter and the Elf Who Thought Killing Him Personally Would At Least Save Him Being Killed By Someone Else

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

or

Harry Potter and the Headmaster Who Has Zero Fucks to Give and Will Happily Talk About Strawberries To Save A Hippogriff

Harry Potter and the Time Snape Got Revenge On One of His Childhood Bullies By Telling Everyone He Was a Werewolf

Harry Potter and the School Who Has the Ability to Use Time Travel But, Rather Than Go Kill Baby Voldemort, Gives It To A Girl So She Can Take Extra Classes*

Harry Potter and the Loud Irish Dumbledore

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

or

Harry Potter and the Time They Should Start To Realise A Pattern In Their Choice Of Defence Against The Dark Arts Teachers

Harry Potter and the Time Everyone Realised That Hermione Is Actually Gorgeous

Harry Potter and the Heartbreak Of The Line “That’s My Boy”

Harry Potter and the Only Time George Would See Fred As An Old Man

* The time travel in Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban works based on one theory of time travel called Fixed Timeline, so I know that they couldn’t actually go back in time and kill baby Voldemort.
This brilliant graphic (that I think was) made by tumblr user slavicinferno explains it well:

Anyway. I have to go and get on with things (like watching Cedric Diggory get killed whilst I do the ironing), but before I go, I present you with my absolutely fantastic morning mohawk-quiff-hybrid…

It is so sad that I couldn’t do this to my hair on purpose if I tried…

Alice.

Part Two is now available HERE.

Evil Eggs and The Countdown Begins!

I managed to drop half a plate of scrambled eggs and tofu in my lap today and burnt my thigh.
I did this because I am legally considered an adult, and therefore am allowed to make my own decisions regarding trying to eat food in front of my laptop on an unsteady surface. The problem is, I’m also an idiot, and probably shouldn’t be allowed to make these decisions.

So, really, the system is to blame.

The system, and the evil eggs…

*sigh* I suppose that’s just the price you pay for living the badass thug vegetarian life I’ve grown accustomed to.

I have five night shifts in a row left at work. It is Freshers week. They are not going to be fun shifts, I can feel it…
But it’ll all be okay and worth it because then I will be like Dobby:

THEN the fun really begins because I get a day off, then a couple of days shadowing the guy I’m replacing at the University of Exeter, then a whole weekend to myself, then I get to get stuck-in to this internship and spend a year learning as much as I can from as many people as possible.
I couldn’t be more excited.

I also managed to do a fair bit of writing when I woke up this morning. So that also feels very good.

I am a calm, happy person today (albeit, a calm happy person covered in egg-related burns).

Alice.

Finding a Hobby and Starting an Etsy

So I have officially opened my etsy account!

I am currently selling Harry Potter bracelets and earring. I’m very new to the whole etsy thing so any comments/ideas/recommendations you can give me would be awesome! It would also be so lovely for anyone who has tumblr/twitter/facebook to share this link just to help me out a little 🙂

Find my simply amazing shop here: The Niche Nook

I am rather proud of these:

   

 

I’m doing this because, currently, the only thing I have close to a hobby is filling out job applications… and I don’t think that really counts.

So I would really love some help promoting this new thing in my life – not because I’m going to make loads of money from it (the cost pretty much covers etsy and paypal fees, the materials and the time) – but because, if people order these things, it will give me something to do and a sense of purpose I’ve been lacking for a while now.

Alice.

 

 

Jewellery Making

I have to run to work, just wanted to really quickly show-off the Harry Potter themed bracelets I’ve been making today:

I’m making them in the different house colours and will hopefully be selling them on etsy in the near future. Don’t know if they’re the sort of thing anyone will want to buy but I decided I needed a hobby.
Each bracelet has a miniature glass bottle attached to it with a slip of parchment with their Hogwarts house printed on it (which is not very clear in this picture but I’m going to take some better quality ones soon!)

Anyway, short update. BUT I HAVE A DAY OFF TOMORROW!!!
I’m excited, can you tell?

Alice.